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It's been a creative few days at the Gibbons household. Our eldest daughter's drawing class has really paid off, and she showed us a lovely sketch of her mother Carol today. Even Peter, who usually prefers to restrict himself to mechanistic pursuits tried his hand at the guitar and found he liked it. I think after a few lessons he'll make an excellent addition to the church youth band.
I myself have been struck by one of my characteristic flashes of inspiration. I'm about to start writing a movie script, and it's going to be a blockbuster. Here's my idea:
It's a comedy with a message. It's about a young man who tries to gain the power to read people's minds. I haven't decided why he'd want to do this, but he does. I figure it'll probably have something to do with seducing his girlfriend, who's a good christian. Anyway, he tries some spell he finds in a book in a new age bookstore. I don't know what the spell will involve yet. Maybe there'll be some extras to play the part of his coven or something. Whatever. So, he's trying out the spell, but he does it wrong. Maybe he puts the herbs in the cauldron backwards or kisses the devil's ass on the wrong side. I don't care, really. The outcome is, instead of being able to read other people's minds, everyone else can hear his thoughts! Isn't that clever? In case I haven't made it clear yet, he's a liberal. Actually, that should have been pretty obvious.
So, the liberal goes to his girlfriend's house completely unaware that she'll be able to hear what he's thinking, and as soon as she opens the door, he starts going on and on about how much he thinks women are equal to men and censorship is wrong and blah blah blah. Of course, she can hear him thinking, and all he's thinking about is how to get her in the sack and what her breasts look like. So she dumps him on the spot.
He's still confused by all this and he goes to see his friend who's a single mother who had an abortion. After a few minutes of talking, she kicks him out onto the street, because she can hear him patronizing her in his head, while patting himself on the back for being so permissive and tolerant towards unfortunate women like her.
The film could go on like this for a while, with the guy offending everyone he knows in one way or another. It would get boring though.
So he ends up depressed and walking the streets, and everyone is avoiding him and crossing to the other side of the street because they can hear him wondering if laws that prevent the publication of child porn are really a form of censorship.
After being beaten up a few times by people who find his attitudes offensive, or get upset when he judges them for wearing the wrong clothes, he's completely lost. It's late at night and the only shop around is an adult bookstore, so he goes in there to find out where he is. As soon as he goes in, though, the owner can hear him thinking about all the porn, and before long, they've zeroed in on the porn he likes most, without him even meaning to buy anything. Of course, it's disgusting hardcore porn about women being abused and degraded. The women in the movies and magazines he likes don't have very many cosmetic enhancements, which would satisfy most liberals, despite the fact that the films are all about them being beaten and raped.
I haven't really decided what happens at this point. Maybe he takes up with a heroin addicted prostitute who manipulates him into ruining his life to fund her drug habit. Maybe she'll reveal his problem to him, and he can spend an amusing few scenes trying to control his own thoughts, obviously without success.
The film can end in one of two ways: either he can find God and be cured by a priest after renouncing liberalism, or he can go to Hell. Actually, the second option offers more interesting possibilities. See, what I figure will happen is the devil will appear to him, and offer him a deal. He can find a conservative man in San Francisco to transfer the mind reading problem over to. If the conservative ends up worse off than the liberal did, the liberal doesn't have to go to Hell. Of course, the conservative has nothing to hide, and he gets elected mayor because people respect him even more, knowing his thoughts contain no deception or evil designs.
I'm thinking of calling it, "The Liberal Who Couldn't Conceal His Perversity". Whaddaya think?