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This film:
will make millions 0%
will make millions of millions 0%
will run for years 0%
will run forever 40%
will be watched by parents with their children, every Sunday after church 60%

Votes: 5

 An idea Hollywood would probably pay millions for

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Apr 01, 2002
It's been a creative few days at the Gibbons household. Our eldest daughter's drawing class has really paid off, and she showed us a lovely sketch of her mother Carol today. Even Peter, who usually prefers to restrict himself to mechanistic pursuits tried his hand at the guitar and found he liked it. I think after a few lessons he'll make an excellent addition to the church youth band.

I myself have been struck by one of my characteristic flashes of inspiration. I'm about to start writing a movie script, and it's going to be a blockbuster. Here's my idea:


More diaries by T Reginald Gibbons
The Funeral of Bin Laden
An Apology
Ask The Mad Scientist
An Important Issue
Question for The Mad Scientist

It's a comedy with a message. It's about a young man who tries to gain the power to read people's minds. I haven't decided why he'd want to do this, but he does. I figure it'll probably have something to do with seducing his girlfriend, who's a good christian. Anyway, he tries some spell he finds in a book in a new age bookstore. I don't know what the spell will involve yet. Maybe there'll be some extras to play the part of his coven or something. Whatever. So, he's trying out the spell, but he does it wrong. Maybe he puts the herbs in the cauldron backwards or kisses the devil's ass on the wrong side. I don't care, really. The outcome is, instead of being able to read other people's minds, everyone else can hear his thoughts! Isn't that clever? In case I haven't made it clear yet, he's a liberal. Actually, that should have been pretty obvious.

So, the liberal goes to his girlfriend's house completely unaware that she'll be able to hear what he's thinking, and as soon as she opens the door, he starts going on and on about how much he thinks women are equal to men and censorship is wrong and blah blah blah. Of course, she can hear him thinking, and all he's thinking about is how to get her in the sack and what her breasts look like. So she dumps him on the spot.

He's still confused by all this and he goes to see his friend who's a single mother who had an abortion. After a few minutes of talking, she kicks him out onto the street, because she can hear him patronizing her in his head, while patting himself on the back for being so permissive and tolerant towards unfortunate women like her.

The film could go on like this for a while, with the guy offending everyone he knows in one way or another. It would get boring though.

So he ends up depressed and walking the streets, and everyone is avoiding him and crossing to the other side of the street because they can hear him wondering if laws that prevent the publication of child porn are really a form of censorship.

After being beaten up a few times by people who find his attitudes offensive, or get upset when he judges them for wearing the wrong clothes, he's completely lost. It's late at night and the only shop around is an adult bookstore, so he goes in there to find out where he is. As soon as he goes in, though, the owner can hear him thinking about all the porn, and before long, they've zeroed in on the porn he likes most, without him even meaning to buy anything. Of course, it's disgusting hardcore porn about women being abused and degraded. The women in the movies and magazines he likes don't have very many cosmetic enhancements, which would satisfy most liberals, despite the fact that the films are all about them being beaten and raped.

I haven't really decided what happens at this point. Maybe he takes up with a heroin addicted prostitute who manipulates him into ruining his life to fund her drug habit. Maybe she'll reveal his problem to him, and he can spend an amusing few scenes trying to control his own thoughts, obviously without success.

The film can end in one of two ways: either he can find God and be cured by a priest after renouncing liberalism, or he can go to Hell. Actually, the second option offers more interesting possibilities. See, what I figure will happen is the devil will appear to him, and offer him a deal. He can find a conservative man in San Francisco to transfer the mind reading problem over to. If the conservative ends up worse off than the liberal did, the liberal doesn't have to go to Hell. Of course, the conservative has nothing to hide, and he gets elected mayor because people respect him even more, knowing his thoughts contain no deception or evil designs.

I'm thinking of calling it, "The Liberal Who Couldn't Conceal His Perversity". Whaddaya think?


Well it should lead him to God. (none / 0) (#1)
by elenchos on Mon Apr 1st, 2002 at 04:48:58 AM PST
Won't he realize that having his mind open like that is the same as how God sees him? And so he will realize how foolish it is to try to conceal his sinfulness from God, and so the only possible hope is to admit he is an inherently fallen creature whose only hope is to pray for God's eternal mercy and grace. And to really mean it, because you can't lie to God in prayer.

The whole world will know what a sinner he is, but will see him as the ideal symbol of the repentant sinner, because he knows as much as they do what lurks in our fallen hearts.

And thus, he is none other than Hester Prynne. You have here the modern day Scarlet Letter. Fine, fine work, Mr. Gibbons.

I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

Well, perhaps (none / 0) (#2)
by T Reginald Gibbons on Mon Apr 1st, 2002 at 04:54:24 AM PST
There is that subtext, however I find I prefer the other ending. It makes an important point. Perhaps the two could be combined, and the guilty liberal could be brought to Jesus with the help of the good conservative?

But (5.00 / 1) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 2nd, 2002 at 10:44:45 AM PST
Jesus was a liberal.

I think... (none / 0) (#3)
by Fon2d2 on Mon Apr 1st, 2002 at 09:58:44 AM PST
this is an excellent idea... only it should be written as a book first. I think books allow more artistic creativity than films. Plus there's more room to develop the storyline. The title needs work though.

no not books (3.00 / 2) (#4)
by PotatoError on Mon Apr 1st, 2002 at 11:30:29 AM PST
My God! You cant just allow anyone to write a book! No offense to T Reginald Gibbons at all but I doubt he is qualified to write a book.

In my opinion there should be a strict licensing system for book writing. Only licensed and properly trained people should be allowed to write books. To obtain a license you must prove yourself to not be a criminal or terrorist and also prove that you are competant enough not to accidently write something harmful.

Gibbons has to be the (none / 0) (#6)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 1st, 2002 at 05:12:40 PM PST
most upstanding person alive.

Shame no you for spreading vile lies. Your continous lies are going to get you into hot water one of these days.

I'm shocked! (none / 0) (#8)
by Anonymous Reader on Tue Apr 2nd, 2002 at 09:54:28 AM PST
Wow, something came from Mr. Gibbons that wasn't slanderous garbage! That actually sounds like it's make a fairly entertaining movie, if executed properly.

Now only if OSM and the others would follow his example.

Mr Gibbons, Sir, (5.00 / 2) (#5)
by because it isnt on Mon Apr 1st, 2002 at 11:39:10 AM PST
I fear you have made a terrible mistake.

To release your astonishingly good movie idea straight into this nest of vipers was a less than tactful move. We all know that the great and the good visit this site, but it is also over-run with thieves and plagiarists. Hollywood is not known for acknowledging original authors. Rather than them paying you millions, they've probably ripped you off already. Why, next weekend might see the star-studded launch of "The Dirty Liberalist" with Bruce Willis as the Damned Liberal, Natalie Portman as the Slutty Baby-Killer, and featuring Tom Baker as the voice of God.

There is no time to waste. Get yourself a lawyer. No, get the best - you'll need it. Run to your nearest patent office and file this plotline with them, while you still have time. -- because it isn't

Stunning! (none / 0) (#7)
by Hansard on Mon Apr 1st, 2002 at 11:51:20 PM PST
This has to be the greatest film I have ever seen. As I cannot find adequate words to describe how your movie spoke to me, I have plagiarized some.

An outstanding drama, Gallipoli resonates with sadness long after you have seen it. Set during World War I, this brutally honest antiwar movie was cowritten by director Peter Weir. Mark Lee and a sinfully handsome Mel Gibson are young, idealistic best friends who put aside their hopes and dreams when they join the war effort. This character study follows them as they enlist and are sent to Gallipoli to fight the Turks. The first half of the film is devoted to their lives and their strong friendship. The second half details the doomed war efforts of the Aussies, who are no match for the powerful and aggressive Turkish army. Because the script pulls us into their lives and forces us to care for these young men, we are devastated by their fate. --Rochelle O'Gorman

One fatal flaw. (none / 0) (#10)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Apr 3rd, 2002 at 06:34:03 PM PST
"Maybe she'll reveal his problem to him, and he can spend an amusing few scenes trying to control his own thoughts, obviously without success"

Are you saying that he cannot control his thoughts? Is this not a given, a tenant of liberalism? Is not Marxism derived on similar premises (not blaming one for that which they cannot control?)

Because the man cannot control his thoughts he will be seen as a liberal hero, a genuine person. Your movie will backfire and do more harm than good - especially when people see the conservative for the evil-self-rightous-programmed-single-minded-pawn that he is.

(in short, just because the conservative is stupid doesnt make him right)

i think it's gonna suck (none / 0) (#11)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 07:14:26 AM PST
sorry dude, that's the stupidest thing i've ever heard

what is wrong with you? (none / 0) (#12)
by Anonymous Reader on Mon Apr 29th, 2002 at 10:40:23 AM PST
You are a complete wasteful joke of a human and have no place in society. I read you're article about hackers and have decided you are an idiot. How can you suggest parenting techniques to anyone else when you are obviously a dictatorial and incompetent parent. Perhaps your child was not a hacker but simply familiarizing himself with computers and making himself fit to compete in this world. Oh, by the way, Lunix is not a hacking program! It's an OS, and if your son has it it's alright if he erases Windows, because then your computer can be devoid of the influence of satan. It pains me to think how your children are so shletered and controlled that they will one day end up in a mental institution with yourself.

Dear Mr. Gibbons (none / 0) (#13)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu May 23rd, 2002 at 04:09:59 PM PST
I find everything that you have written on this site to be absolute garbage. You have nothing to offer society except your withdraw from active society. I fell very sad for your children - growing up in a household where their father is such a controlling freak.
How can you deny your children a higher education - you are condemning them to flipping burgers in a McDonalds. You, sir, are the most ignorant, brainwashed person I have ever had the displeasure of reading. From what I have read, your obsession with raising your children in a "Godly" fashion will scar them for life. You have most obviously been tricked - like the many other sheep - by the Catholic Church and its horseshit propaganda. Don't get me wrong - I believe in Father, Son and Holy Ghost - however the church is nothing more than a political machine.
Your article on hacking was the single most idiotic thing I have ever read. I will not even go into the specifics aside the fact that hacking is not an "evil" pursuit - it is an exploration of computers to understand them and know them better. The term for breaking into computers is called "cracking". Your article about your children's future made we feel very sad for them and their grim minimum wage future. The article about cars is a joke. I hope your kids make enough money to pay for the hundreds of hours of therapy they will need in the future. Since I am not a coward like you - feel free to email me.

you might think of adding this (none / 0) (#14)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun May 26th, 2002 at 02:40:55 AM PST
Maybe this guy can be like 12 and after his gf dumps him he can go to a computer and download bonzi buddy, comet cusor, or flash and become a hacker. At this point he'll be really f*cked so he's go to a preist and the preist will be like confess your sins and I'll fuck you in the ass. Then the preist rapes this kid and he ends up dieing and not going to heaven or hell because there is no god and there is no satan. When people die they live on in other peoples memories while their body and soul decay in the ground.


ffs some people I swere (none / 0) (#15)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun May 26th, 2002 at 02:48:39 AM PST
Sorry dude but some people diserve to be shot in the face and some diserve to be eaten alive by pigs and others diserve to belive they will go to heaven then just die and find in death that they have wasted their lives. You diserve more than the all of these combined but when you die, which for the sake of all of us should be soon, you will for sure find no heaven. I only hope that you die a horrable death but thanks for the laugh on that hacker post. I just hope it was a joke.



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