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What deep-sky object is the greatest threat to the United States?
M31 3%
M33 0%
The Large Magellanic Cloud 9%
The Great Orion Nebula 11%
The Pleiades 7%
B33 (The Horsehead Nebula) 13%
Sharpless 276 9%
NGC 4565 1%
NCC 1701D 41%

Votes: 51

 Why We Need National Missile Defense

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Dec 19, 2001
Although recent news headlines have been dominated by stories about the war in Afghanistan and the fallout from the atrocious attacks on the United States, there have been other goings-on. In particular, a hot-button political issue that has become a staple of round-table discussion these days is national missile defense, sometimes abbreviated as NMD. Leftists claim that NMD is unproven (which is silly) and unnecessary (which is outrageous.) Let's put all of this misinformation to bed.

America needs a national missile defense. And here's why.


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The spiral galaxy M31, also known as the Great Andromeda Galaxy, is considered by many to be the most spectacular deep-space object (DSO) in the sky. Lying at a distance of approximately 2,900,000 light-years, this galaxy is visible to the naked eye and has a larger apparent size than the full Moon, which is only a quarter of a million miles away! M31 and its galactic companions M32 and M110 have long been a source of delight and fascination for amateur astronomers everywhere; its countless stars and spiral structure and intricate system of globular clusters is revered the world over.

Yes, there can be no doubt that M31 is very beautiful. But then again, so was Helen of Troy. Her beauty was unparalleled, but she ended up causing the Trojan War, a bloody conflict in which countless thousands of Greeks and Trojans were killed. History is full of examples of beauty being a front for deviousness, treachery, violence, and mayhem. Look at Cleopatra, Joan of Arc, and Margaret Thatcher. And this principle is not limited to living things; the bickering over the lush and disputed province of Kashmir (which has been described as a "paradise on Earth") has the possibility of spiraling into a nuclear war between Pakistan and India.

And so it goes with M31. Despite its splendor, the galaxy represents a clear and present danger to us. The fact of the matter is that it is quickly advancing towards the United States of America at an incredible rate of speed (approximately 300 kilometers per second) and in time, it will collide with us. It doesn't take a degree in astrology to realize that if this were to happen, it would visit untold destruction and mayhem upon all Americans.

There is no obvious reason for this aggressive behavior. Certainly, the U.S. has never threatened or otherwise maligned M31, yet here it comes anyway. M31 has never proven itself to be particularly useful; in particular, it has served no purpose in the recent (and ongoing) war on terrorism. With the lack of any evidence to the contrary, I think the conclusion is elementary: M31 needs to be considered an enemy galaxy. There is no other explanation for its belligerence.

For that reason, I submit that the United States needs to agressively pursue a theaterwide missile defense system that is capable of defending this great nation from this blue-shifted Beelzebub. Now, you might point at the galaxy, with its immense size and nearly-impenetrable defenses and ask: "Pardon me, sir, but what good are a few missiles going to be against that?" Take heart; I have been assured by some of America's top scientists that M31 has an intrinsic and fatal weakness. In particular, a few well-placed missiles aimed directly at the galactic nucleus will get the job done nicely. A precise hit will start a chain reaction, which should destroy the galaxy. Only a precise hit will start a chain reaction.

Artist's conception of United States missiles intercepting M31

Now, recent tests of our existing missile defense capability have been somewhat promising. There have been prominent failures, but in between there have also been great successes. Make no mistake about it: our capability to defend our nation from threats such as M31 is improving. Our current technology might lack the accuracy to directly strike the nucleus of our galactic aggressor, but as long as we work together as a nation, I am convinced that the day will come when our missiles will have the kind of unparalleled speed and accuracy necessary to take out the Great Andromeda Galaxy.

President Bush has taken an important first step by pulling out of the useless and outdated ABM treaty. This action enraged the Communist Russian Federation, and it will doubtless enrage M31 when they receive the news 2.9 million years from now. But this is not a time for the U.S. to be concerned about "buddying up" to everybody in the Universe, and it would be a tragedy if we let public opinion from enemy nations dictate our domestic defense policy. The childish rantings of a few vodka-swilling leftivists is not going to deter the U.S. from taking appropriate actions to defend itself.

Of course, the attacks on this policy are not going to come strictly from outside of America's borders. Liberals are likely to decry any plan to defend ourselves from M31; they will call it an "ignorant" or "bellicose" course of action. Instead, they will claim that we need to take time and learn to "understand" M31 and "bond" with it. And they will be wrong. This type of warm-and-fuzzy circle-jerk politics might fly at UC Berkeley, but in the real world, history proves that it just doesn't work. We would do well to ignore the liberals, just as the moral community has done for centuries now.

This much is clear: America must blow up M31. We have the tools, and we have the talent. Our skills will certainly need to be refined, but the time to start is now. M31 won't hit us in our lifetime, or even in our great-grandchildren's lifetime, but make no mistake about it .. it will hit us. The sooner we realize and accept this fact, the sooner we can begin to prepare our counteroffensive.


What about (none / 0) (#6)
by joecool12321 on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 12:12:25 AM PST
What about sidreal motion?


Please enter a subject for your comment. (none / 0) (#15)
by philipm on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 06:59:47 PM PST
What about MLK and Ghandi?

Would Mother Teresa approve?


Starship Troopers are Not Pacifist Do Gooders (none / 0) (#19)
by Inden on Sun Dec 23rd, 2001 at 03:19:10 PM PST
MLK, Gandhi and Mother T (of the C Team) would not have won the west or boldly gone where no Captain Kirk had gone before.

That is the hidden meaning behind the perspective offered in the Star Wars story - the heroes are rebels against an overweening tyrannical federation! The Jedi is freedom fighter against tyrannic central authority in the first SW epic. The revisionism of the new Phanton Menace SW where the Jedi council has achieved a great deal of successful trappings and seeks not to be corrupted by the power it wields is also instructive, if troubling.

Please correct my inaccurate history (none / 0) (#20)
by Inden on Sun Dec 23rd, 2001 at 03:23:50 PM PST
I realize that if I bothered to chart out the role of the Jedi viz the role of the empire in the various SW epics up to the Phantom menace, I would arrive at the "freedom fighter" vs. "corrupted by success" correct timeline. Probably the earlier ones will represent the success corruption issues given that Hollywood always arranges to have the good ending come at the end for morally redemptive purposes.

Any serious SW 'scholars' out there to wax philosophy on the political science undercurrent message implied in the series of films???

I think there is an alternative solution... (none / 0) (#7)
by ausduck on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 12:21:16 AM PST
M31, I think, is about 2 million light years away from our galaxy. Let us suppose that this is in fact only 1.5 million, just to be on the safe side.
Now, this M31 is approaching us at 300 000 metres per second, or about one one-thousandth of the speed of light. We have, therefore, about 1.5 billion years before we are hit.
In this intervening billion and a bit years, I suggest that instead of building some galaxy destroying device, we instead work on our inter-galactic travelling capabilities, and find ourselves a faraway planet where we will find refuge for another billion or so years.
The fact that something will end up being destroyed, though, remains correct. But I think that to prove our civility, we shouldn't go destroying other galaxies.

You mean run and hide? (5.00 / 2) (#9)
by Miles O Toole on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 01:27:40 AM PST
We are Americans. This isn't some quasi-socialist European nation. As President George W. Bush stated: "You are either with us, or against us." M31 has made its intentions clear, and we must respond with strength and determination.

- Miles O'Toole

12 Galaxies Guiltied to an Adequate Rocket Society

Coffee and the terror (none / 0) (#12)
by CLaW on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 07:00:27 AM PST
Holy hell that was frickin funny man. Still wiping coffee of my monitor.

if only it wasnt so true.

Travel time (5.00 / 3) (#11)
by westgeof on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 06:54:40 AM PST
Well, I don't know about you, but when the time comes, I'm not leaving. (Unless they dig up my by-then decomposed corpse and carry it along). Even if I gained immortality and was still around then I wouldn't want to leave. That leaves one option: prevent the collision. Now it may be possible by then to move our planet to the orbit of a new star by then (something we do need to think about for when our sun eventually burns out), but if we do that I'm betting Andromeda will notice this and change course. I don't trust anything with a woman's name...

So, we need to eliminate the threat once and for all. If that required a missle attack, then I don't think we should wait until the last minute (or last 100 million years for that matter.) I know I wouldn't want to be anywhere near that thing when it is destroyed, there's bound to be a lot of debris. Even if we launched missles in the next for years, then would probably intercept M31 in about half a billion years. (just an estimate) This would put it at around 1 millin light years away, using your worst-case figure.

Now on a cosmic scale, this is getting rather close, and could very well be close enough to disrupt a large portion of what we currently see in the night sky. If we wait too long, then the blast might also take us with us, a risk I don't want to take. Stike now!

As a child I wanted to know everything. Now I miss my ignorance.

roll the dice (none / 0) (#14)
by Stretch on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 10:46:12 AM PST
Even if the two galaxies were to merge, the likelyhood of stars or planets colliding is negligible. First space is full of just that. And a lot of it. Secondly, gravity i smore likely to force to large objects into rotation rather than pull them together to collide. We, of course, would have to destroy any second "sun" from getting close enough to burn us to a crisp but other than that I think we may be OK.

On the other hand, WON'T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN?!? We only have a billion or two years to make the right choice! I agree, we can't put this off!

true (none / 0) (#25)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 10:04:01 PM PST
If thats the case then why even think of building a completely stupid "missle defence" to "take out" a galaxy. By that time the sun will be in red supergiant form and the earth will no longer be habitable, not to mention that i doubt seriously humanity will live that long.
Hopefully long before that humanity gets past its stupid primal stage and actually do something for a change besides showing to other nations the size of our penises in bouts of tribal warfare.

M31 Agression Not The Only Threat (5.00 / 1) (#10)
by Inden on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 03:25:09 AM PST
The M31 galactic expansionism threat case is overstated. More immediately, short term hazards exist to our way of life from the absence of very committed large scale defense industry spending programs. Vital sources of campaign funding are at risk if military contractor profit margins continue to erode as precipitously as they have been doing over the past decade since the fall of the Berlin Wall.

Permanent peace is a very real threat to the stability and order of civilized society and must be taken very seriously. I believe our government and industry leaders have correctly identified the dangerous risks at hand and responded appropriately with a global campaign of indeterminate length and objectives for warfare against a largely invisible enemy.

We shall overcome because we stand united for freedom and the democratic way of life. May God continue to bless America and her allies.

At least as sensible as the actual reason (none / 0) (#13)
by lowapproach on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 07:02:25 AM PST
I question the logic of throwing away a treaty system that has worked for fifty years, for a technology which has never promised foolproof and seamless defense against inbound missiles; these days, the least of our concerns. The missiles that hit the U.S. three months ago didn't belong to China; they belonged to United.

<p>Incidentally, this piece shows some of the better technique in satire on this site, especially the line about not needing a degree in astrology. Maddest props to seventypercent.

From another concerned space ambassador (none / 0) (#16)
by Inden on Thu Dec 20th, 2001 at 10:43:20 PM PST
I notice neither the original author, nor your rebuttal makes mention of the mutual defense treaty we share with the Ort Cloud. As you know, the Ort Cloud is an amorphic body of tiny particles orbiting the sun at some distance beyond the orbit of Pluto. As such, the Ort Cloud stands as our first line of defense against incursions from M31 (those godless bastards!) or any other extra-galactic menace.

I say let us celebrate the lowly Ort! Surely, it can't cost more than a few hundred thousand dollars to have Orts included in the People magazine list of 10 most intriguing personalities of the decade!!

sigh......................... (1.00 / 1) (#17)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 21st, 2001 at 03:25:55 AM PST
I know you Americans think you are above everything seems now you think you can master mother nature.. once again your over confident " we are the greatest" attitude stinks!!! I reckon you need to concentrate on getting that idiot Bush out of Power before the world is destroyed long before M31 hits home..... personally Id like to live out my life without nuclear /all out war which your idiot president will surely bring. you hoon.

yup (none / 0) (#23)
by Anonymous Reader on Wed Dec 26th, 2001 at 09:50:47 PM PST
america is the greatest i hate to tell you sir or madam but if you ask anyone over the age of 12 they will tell you the same

That is what they have been brainwashed to think (none / 0) (#33)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 09:54:15 PM PST
Try Scandinavia... (Norway, Sweden, Denmark)
Far better than any (shitty) american state...
(USA might have the power, but far from the quality!)

ignore (none / 0) (#18)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 21st, 2001 at 06:53:31 AM PST
It is generally accepted that before one attacks he should cover his back.
M31 shhould indeed be dedtroyed but how can you be sure we will be around to enjoy the advantages of its destruction (we as humanity)?
Leftists, anarchists, terrorists, europeans, socialists, liberals, feminists pose a threat to the well beeing of our planet and its leading nation (God bless America).
It is of the utmost importance that all those are NOT ignored but annihilated.
This situation demands immedate action before it is too late....orelse by the time M31 reaches our planet there will be nothing for it to consume.

I don't think that's really necessary... (none / 0) (#22)
by daylily on Tue Dec 25th, 2001 at 05:56:26 PM PST
I've done a bit of research online, and I've found that the Andromeda galaxy is about 2 million miles away. The speed of light is 299,821 km/s. I got this number by converting its speed of 186,300 mi/s (taken from to metrics. So if you use 300 km/s as the speed Andromeda is moving at, it will reach us in (what a coincidence) 2002 years, by my calculation. Someone let me know if there's an error in any of that. Now, think of how much more advanced we are than 2002 years ago. Don't you think in another 2002 years, we'll have developed some better way of dealing with the problem than a missle defense system? Or at least better missles? If we spend millions of dollars on a missle defense system, people will just be laughing at it in about 100 years. There are more important uses for our tax dollars.

Hehe, you goof ball (none / 0) (#29)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 02:23:03 PM PST
Andromeda is an entire galaxy! The Sun is more than 2 million miles away from earth...Maybe you meant 2 million lightyears?

I think hes saying (none / 0) (#32)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 08:15:18 PM PST
2 million MILES. If that where true then M13 would have already "collided" with the US and we would be dead or seriously messed up by now.
The ignorance of this thread and site is hillarious.

ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA (none / 0) (#24)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Dec 28th, 2001 at 09:56:43 PM PST
Man this site is fucking hillarious. The past one on "hackers" was a blast but this one really takes the cake.
Anyway, this guy is truely an idiot because if M31 actually collided with the US it wouldnt be the end of the US,it would be the end of this entire star system and many other star systems to.
The US is a SUBATOMIC particle compared to M31, and the missles that we are going to "use" to "destroy" it are also subatomic particles compared to it. Then again, its impossible to destroy a black hole (M31's core) which is much bigger than the entire solar system.

yeah whatever (none / 0) (#26)
by philipm on Sat Dec 29th, 2001 at 07:31:22 AM PST
guess you didn't do too well in physics class.

I could try to explain to you how there are any number of valid methods that could be used to ddestroy the evil M31 galaxy, but it would be like arguing with a toddler.


ok how..... (none / 0) (#27)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Dec 29th, 2001 at 07:54:57 AM PST
How do we take out a galaxy with a archiac obsolete "missle defense system"? Plz enlighten all of us.

Read the Article (none / 0) (#28)
by MessiahWWKD on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 12:33:06 PM PST
The US is a SUBATOMIC particle compared to M31, and the missles that we are going to "use" to "destroy" it are also subatomic particles compared to it. Then again, its impossible to destroy a black hole (M31's core) which is much bigger than the entire solar system.

Maybe if you read the article you would have realized that despite the immense size of M31, it still can be destroyed.
Take heart; I have been assured by some of America's top scientists that M31 has an intrinsic and fatal weakness. In particular, a few well-placed missiles aimed directly at the galactic nucleus will get the job done nicely. A precise hit will start a chain reaction, which should destroy the galaxy. Only a precise hit will start a chain reaction.

Perhaps if you read the blasted article, you wouldn't make such moronic statements.
Guardian angel, heavenly friend, walk with me 'til the journey's end.

the thing is......... (none / 0) (#30)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 04:49:17 PM PST
Most galactic centers are massive black holes, so pretty much fireing a missle towards it would be futile at best (if it ever reaches the core)
Also the article forgets to mention that M31 wont be here in another BILLION years (the galaxy is over several million light years away) by the time
M31 actually gets here the earth will be no more due to the sun dying out and going red supergiant.
You should be more concerned with Niburu (one of the sun's sister stars) than M31, then again i doubt seriously they cant do anything to a brown dwarf star twice the size as jupiter!
And why is everyone stupid enough into thinking a humongous star system is sentient?? This shit is prefectly natural and shit happens in the universe you like it or not.
All in all using a primative archiac missle system to "destroy" a object which is pretty much impossible to destroy with a primative missle system.
Your the one who is stupid.

I cant believe it (none / 0) (#31)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 06:33:56 PM PST
Why in the fuck is everyone taking this article seriously????????
Who gives a shit if M31 collides with our galaxy?
By the time that happens humanity will have killed themselves off using primative weapons (ie missle defense systems) in a dick waving contest.

Our own SUN is going to kill us way before that! (none / 0) (#34)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Dec 30th, 2001 at 10:47:39 PM PST
Are this site going totally bananas?!?!?
This can only come frome someone as wacko as that trigger-happy Texas-cowboy that you call President(The worst American president i have ever seen) or from someone that has been totally brainwashed.

As it says in this "article", this galaxy is 2,9 (!) MILLION lightyears away, travelling at a speed of 300 km/s. It would then take this "threat" 2 900 000 000 (2,9 BILLION for those of you that can't read that many zeroes) lighyears to even get here!

If you got a nuke to travel at the speed of light (THOUSAND TIMES FASTER, 300 000 km/s!), it would take the rocket fucking 2,9 million years to even get there. And it will be impossible to get that rocket to go that fast! (Or to do any kind of damage at all)

Now, if someday the whole world is ruled by fucked-up minds like the mind of the one who wrote this article, (Americans, probably republicans :-), those "rulers" would say the following: "Lets blow up the SUN with a nuke, because it will soon destroy earth!".
You see, our own sun is going to destroy us (the whole world, not only you self-centered, brainwashed americans!) way before this M31 galaxy even gets near us! Now what do you idiots think will happend if we did that?................(The Jeopardy-tune playing in the background)................... Bingo!!! We would fucking destroy our own solar system! This is as insane as the stuff that is written in this so-called article (The title of this site should read: Adequacy - News for SMALL-MINDED). As the sun ages, it will expand more and more, swallowing up planet after planet, turing Earth into a red ball of fire, and eventually swallow the whole shit (including America, you retards).

If people is as stupid as the one that wrote this article (and those who wrote any other article on this insane site), then human-kind is plunging straight for self-destruction.

RaZor - trying to prevent people from losing theire minds by sites like this!


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