Adequacy front page
Stories Diaries Polls Users

Home About Topics Rejects Abortions
This is an archive site only. It is no longer maintained. You can not post comments. You can not make an account. Your email will not be read. Please read this page if you have questions.
 Let us pray for the priests and victims of sexual abuse

 Author:  Topic:  Posted:
Mar 29, 2002
This holiest week in Christendom, please say a prayer for those poor souls who have been caught in the media maelstrom of priests engaging in inappropriate behavior.

More stories about Religion
Is Catholicism to be tolerated?
Wicca - a scientific, Christian approach to the problem
Winning The Battle Against Pornography
Christianity isn't working in the USA; Is Islam the answer ?
The Scriptural Proof of Extraterrestrial Life
The Revival of the Ancient Ways
The Problem is You - Not Religion
We are all children of Adam and Eve
A Taliban Warlord answers YOUR questions.
Islam: What is it?
Kill Yr Idols: God
Have a Right Halloween!
Religion: The Appendix of Modern Society
The Evil of Harry Potter
Islam is not the enemy
Happy Birthday Christ!
Bloody Sunday, Bloody Right!
What shall we give up for Lent?
Reclaiming St. Patrick's Day
The Proselytizing Atheist
The Incontrovertible Existence of God
Tolkien, Star Wars and Jesus Christ
World Youth Day: An Alarming Report

More stories by
Adam Rightmann

My husband wants to do my ass!
Rock Star: Headbanging Nights
Saluting American Heroes on Flight 93
We are all children of Adam and Eve
I'm a teenager, and I want it bad!
I have not had relations for months!
My neighbors are foreigners, and they don't fly a flag
Have a Right Halloween!
Should we circumcize our boy?
My wife hungers for dark meat, and my nephew is a Commie!
My husband wants me shorn!
My inlaws are not fertile!
Help save a baby, and snowballs
What shall we give up for Lent?
Reclaiming St. Patrick's Day
Why can't I get a second date?
I want a mistress!
My roommate is gay! My roommate is a drunk.
While you are fasting today, and contemplating Christ's death tomorrow, I'd like you to think about the following tale, may it inspire you in a prayer as you sit down to a filling Easter dinner of ham, potatoes, asparagus and Jello.

Ryan O'Boyle was a young man of Irish descent, raised in the media-driven sex-infested United States of America. At a young age, Ryan knew he wanted to serve the Lord. He also didn't have a strong libido, and in America, where the media tells you constantly that you must desire sex daily or you are perverted, this is considered very bizarre. As a teenager, Ryan entered the seminary, sexually inexperienced, and inexperienced in ways of dealing with sexual temptation.

Michael Riordan is another young man of Irish descent, raised in the media-driven sex-infested United States of America. While his parents paid lip service to the True Church, his moral foundations were a little lacking. At a young age, Michael discovered the sin of Onanism. Since he would go to confession but once a year, this sin delved deep into his psyche, forming an insidious layer of perversion.

Michael's parents were whores of the mass media; not content with 4 channels of televised filth entering their home and destroying their children, they subscribed to cable TV and the premium movie channels. Micheal lapped up the sexually provovative filth coming down through the coaxial cable, possessing sexual knowledge that in an older age would only be known by psychologists studying the disturbed. Micheal's perverted libido became stronger.

As a teenager, Michael's libido, re-enforced by raging hormones, raged out of control. He lacked the will power to deny his sin of Onanism. When his male companions started bragging about their sexual conquests, Michael felt a need to compete. Fortunately, most teenage girls are far more chaste than Hollywood portrays, and Michael was not able to take their womanly virtues. Michael's libido was thwarted, and his perversions grew stronger. Then, Michael goes to the new young priest, Ryan, asking for help.

Who knows what Michael's true motivations were? Perhaps he honestly wanted help stopping his Onanism. We do know that when Michael was alone with Ryan, temptation reared it's ugly head. Satan got into Michael's head, telling him that while having sex with a girl was certainly a worthy goal, tempting one of God's celibates was an even more worthy goal. Poor Ryan was a sexual innocent, unequipped for dealing with a wily sexual predator. In the end, a priest's life was ruined, and a perverted teenager got his first notch in his belt.

I'm not saying all cases of priest's sexual inappropriateness are caused by teenage sexual predators. In some cases, greedy families have been brought up on stories of the Vatican's incalculable wealth, and decided sacrificing their young boys for sexual blackmail was their meal ticket. And in a few, very rare cases, pedophilic predators have entered the priesthood under false pretenses.

So, this Easter, let's pray for the celibacy of our priests, and pray for forgiveness for those young men who have succumbed.


'inappropriate' (2.00 / 3) (#1)
by JoePain on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 08:04:48 AM PST
Kinda sugar coated -don't you think?

celibacy (none / 0) (#2)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 10:12:27 AM PST
I've never seen this kind of thing with married preachers, so I'm more inclined to believe that celibacy is the root of the problem.

Damn those young teenage boys for being so yummy. I wonder if it was the femininizing robes? Or perhaps the phallic candles? Maybe, just maybe, it's holy water spritzes (think about that one for a bit).

Oh yeah. (5.00 / 1) (#3)
by hauntedattics on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 10:37:59 AM PST
Because married preachers never cheat on their wives. No sirree.

So? (none / 0) (#5)
by tkatchev on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 10:50:24 AM PST
That's the preacher's problem, not the Church's.

Peace and much love...

Not to mention- (none / 0) (#6)
by JoePain on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 12:29:58 PM PST
Cheating < Rape/Molestation (This was consensual sex, was it not?)

How odd. (none / 0) (#8)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 03:57:40 PM PST
You seem to have forgotten one. Funny how he always gets left off the list when liberals start screeching about the moral failings of ministers involved in politics.

cheating (none / 0) (#9)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 05:12:37 PM PST
Married preachers don't generally _molest young boys_. At least, from what I've heard reported.

Now, `cheating' is neither here nor there (like one pointed out, cheating would imply that it's consensual- which it's clearly not in these cases).

Conservatives always miss the point. :(

oddly enough... (none / 0) (#14)
by gNinja on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 03:05:37 AM PST
Billy Graham does not belong on your list.

If anything he's a bit of a prude. He has a rule never to be alone with a woman who's not his wife under any circumstances. You would think that it wouldn't matter now that he's really old and has alzhiemers desease, but apparently he's still worried some stranger might want to make illicit love to him all night long.

My father has a similar rule.

Goodness. (none / 0) (#15)
by hauntedattics on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 08:02:45 AM PST
My point, which I apparently didn't get across very well, is that married preachers are just as prone to sin as celibate ones. It may be a different kind of sin (or a lesser sin - but that is not for me to say) but it's still sin. And I wasn't trying to cast the blame for it on any church.

The range of responses is pretty amusing, though. I'm glad to see that I'm both a liberal and a conservative at the same time. How is that possible? Labels, labels, labels. So convenient, yet so inadequate...

Apologies to Mr. Graham for including him on my list if it isn't true; I guess I'd heard something awhile back. As for Mr. Jackson, I don't think about him much at all, except to roll my eyes at his news-getting attempts. Please go ahead and include him on the list if it makes you feel better.

Re: Goodness. (none / 0) (#16)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 09:31:18 AM PST
Um, I wasn't implying that married preachers `don't sin,' no one is without sin. So I think you're just replying to reply, making yourself look silly in the process.

Also, no one directly called you a liberal, they just stated that whenever a liberal disses the `inadequacy' of married preachers, they tend to leave out Jesse Jackson. :)

And I find it appalling that you'd list one of the greatest preachers on your list, spreading misinformation as though it were fact. Just more proof that you're a conservative.

This is after all.

i demand an apology. (none / 0) (#21)
by nathan on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 11:41:42 PM PST
I am a conservative, and I spread misinformation as though it were misinformation. Unlike liberalists, though, I don't delude myself into thinking it's real.

Li'l Sis: Yo, that's a real grey area. Even by my lax standards.

sorry. (none / 0) (#23)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 31st, 2002 at 11:53:21 AM PST
For the record, I never stated that liberals didn't spread misinformation. It's just that their technique questions information, at least for the most part. Conservatives tend, generally speaking, to hold to their value systems, even though there are subtle changes in reality.

It gets bad when both sides take information religiously without questioning the crediblity of it or its sources.

Liberals? (none / 0) (#24)
by tkatchev on Sun Mar 31st, 2002 at 12:35:18 PM PST
"Question Information"?

Very funny. Now go back to worshipping the Monkey God, OK?

Peace and much love...

Monkeys? (5.00 / 1) (#25)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 31st, 2002 at 02:46:37 PM PST
Heh, if liberals didn't go around bitching and complaining about everything, and making problems for everyone, then yes, I would probably not think that. :)

Really, liberals look for problems to fix, for the sake of doing it (sometimes causing more problems than they fix). Agree?

Agree, with a comment. (5.00 / 1) (#27)
by tkatchev on Sun Mar 31st, 2002 at 11:18:50 PM PST
This is not because somehow liberalists are more "nice" or caring than normal people.

It's because they think they hold some sort of monopoly on intelligence and rationality. They view the rest of us as half-witted children.

Peace and much love...

Universal Democracy is the problem (none / 0) (#29)
by dmg on Thu Apr 4th, 2002 at 10:48:19 PM PST
This is not because somehow liberalists are more "nice" or caring than normal people.

It's because they think they hold some sort of monopoly on intelligence and rationality. They view the rest of us as half-witted children.

The problem is, the way the majority of people behave, this is not an inaccurate view. The idiocy of the commoner means he is supremely unqualified to vote, and yet democracy forces this onerous and yet highly important task upon him. The end result - liberalists, liberals, Socialist and Communists in positions of power.

Why on earth should some crackhead maniac on welfare have any say in running the country ?

I have a masters degree, surely my vote should count for more than some drug-addled worker at McDonald's ?

We don't let people drive a car without passing a test. We certainly should not let them vote without passing some sort of intelligence test.

time to give a Newtonian demonstration - of a bullet, its mass and its acceleration.
-- MC Hawking

You make the mistake... (none / 0) (#30)
by tkatchev on Sun Apr 7th, 2002 at 02:14:12 PM PST
...of equating social standing with "intelligence"[1].

From my experience, people with master's degrees are much more addled and unsiuted for life than people working in McDonald's. At least, minimum-wage workers do not spend time and money posting tripe on weblogs.

[1] "Intelligence", like I said many times previously, is a liberalist myth they use to keep "the sheep" in line. Decent people know who the real shepherd is; the liberalists seem to have a big problem with managing their pride in this case.

Peace and much love...

Aristocracy (none / 0) (#31)
by DeepOmega on Mon Apr 8th, 2002 at 02:33:32 PM PST
I find it interesting that tkatchev is making a fundamentally socialist comment (namely that the "common man" is more valuable than the intellectual elite). Indeed, one of the failings of the Communist party in America during the 1930s was it's alienation of intellectuals.

The best choice is for <i>all</i> people to have an equal say, regardless of social standing, wealth, race, gender, etc. While I personally don't feel the representative democracy implemented by the current US government appropriately repesents the views of everyone, I do feel that it does a better job than the aristocracy suggested by dmg.

The problem is, the way the majority of people behave, this is not an inaccurate view. The idiocy of the commoner means he is supremely unqualified to vote, and yet democracy forces this onerous and yet highly important task upon him. The end result - liberalists, liberals, Socialist and Communists in positions of power.</i>

This is very similar to the views of the aristocrats during the industrial revolution, trying to create a government ruled by the rich and those who's relatives had enough money to pay their way through a "good" college.

Peace and much love...

Celibacy. (none / 0) (#4)
by tkatchev on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 10:48:20 AM PST
I agree with you. Remember that clerical celibacy is a fairly new invention by the Catholic church -- neither the protestansts nor the Orthodox Apostolic Church endorse clerical celibacy.

Peace and much love...

I hadn't considered this. (3.00 / 2) (#7)
by elenchos on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 02:32:35 PM PST
While I've been aware of the many threats we face from teenagers, such as mass murder, hacking, and vehicular assault, I had not given their sexual predation sufficient thought. While I still think military school is the primary answer to teenagerism, this sexual factor needs more study. Even in the healthy and secure environment of a military school, this impulse to sexual gluttony can still find expression.

I'm inclined to think there needs to be some defensive application of drugs to help us here, like the "Chemical Castration" used on known sexual predators such teenagers.

I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

I agree (none / 0) (#10)
by Anonymous Reader on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 10:26:49 PM PST
Because you know how evil teenagers are and all that. Devil music and drugs. It's a darned shame that the parents were too lazy and/or stupid to teach their kids what's wrong and right without beating them about the head and shoulders with it. So send them all to military school because the parents have neither the time nor the energy to teach their children and keep them under control.

The little monsters don't deserve it. (none / 0) (#11)
by elenchos on Fri Mar 29th, 2002 at 10:58:23 PM PST
Why should these kids' busy parents spend so much time on them? They're lucky to be alive at all; they could have had an abortion or drowned the little mewling rats in a sack couldn't they? But they didn't, and look at the thanks parents get. Children just disgust me.

A military school is the most efficient means of dealing with the threat teens pose, putting them out of our way for the least cost, until they are old enough to get jobs and pay their own way. My second alternative is prison, but I'm enough of a liberal to be willing to try the military school thing first.

I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

Think twice about military school. (none / 0) (#12)
by tkatchev on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 12:47:47 AM PST
Do you realize that military school graduates usually go on later in life to fill key government and military leadership positions?

(That's not to say that military school graduates are somehow better than civilians; quite the opposite, in fact. Unfortunately, our world works such that these morally stunted people are very much attuned for positions of power.)

Peace and much love...

Well, that's better than becoming a hacker. (1.00 / 1) (#13)
by elenchos on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 02:01:58 AM PST
Or drug addict, or the next teen freakshow murdering dozens in the mall. Given the terrible shortage of governement workers we have and shall continue to have, I think this would be ideal. Beyond the thousands of airport security personnel we need, there is an ever-growing number of bodybags waiting to be filled in the cold wastes of Afghanistan.

I think such a heroic service is far better than becoming another teen statistic.

I do, I do, I do
--Bikini Kill

Re: hackers (none / 0) (#17)
by Anonymous Reader on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 09:33:39 AM PST
Socialism would cure all your problems.

You are so sublimely correct... (none / 0) (#18)
by tkatchev on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 09:59:35 AM PST
The best headache cure is a beheading, to be sure.

Peace and much love...

Yet again (none / 0) (#19)
by walwyn on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 12:23:41 PM PST
a hail of bullets in a cellar can work wonders too.

here here (none / 0) (#20)
by turmeric on Sat Mar 30th, 2002 at 08:31:29 PM PST
i think you shoudl expand your theory, there
are many NYC police who are forced to stick
plungers into the assholes of emotionally abusive
prisoners who trick them into deviant sexual
behavior. There are also numerous prison guards,
school teachers, and offshore oil rig employeeswith the
same problem: deviant sexual predators forcingthem
into inserting objects into the rectum of
the 'victim' who then turns around and sues them.

The Hidden Connection: Cannibalism and Pedophilia (5.00 / 1) (#22)
by Anonymous Reader on Sun Mar 31st, 2002 at 06:06:42 AM PST
What this story, and indeed all the media I've read has neglected to inform the public is that these teenage predators prey on cannibals. What cannibals you ask? Why Catholic Priests of course. If your a good catholic, and you should be, if your reading this divine article (thank you Adam), then your of course aware of the miracle of transubstantiation (quickly defined here for the heretical protestants, and *shudder* godless heathens).

As keepers of the Eucharist, Priest are the premier blood drinkers and flesh consumers, eating Christ's body repeatedly, and rightly so; These holy men deserve to eat their fill. But these child predators attacking Holy Mother Church, and it's priests, are serving to drive down the number of holy cannibals available to the public.

Now, with the growing concern over this matter, less and less young men are entering the priesthood and becoming fine young cannibals.

With the Papal ban on cloning, which of course applies to priests, and the celibacy, it may be these sick preteen monsters may drive these good men underground, a situation that has not occured since the early persecution of christians in the first through third centuries.

This is why I support the re-education of these twisted young minds, to become what Catholics need most desperately, new priests.

Bullocks (1.00 / 1) (#26)
by BT on Sun Mar 31st, 2002 at 03:22:37 PM PST
As a priest, I find this claim to be utterly rediculous. When teenagers and young children bring their lithe, innocent bodies to confession, the first thing on my mind is to aid this poor child's relationship with God. When I reach down a young man or young woman's pants, it is not to derive sexual pleasure for myself, but to aid his or her journey to God. For, when one is screaming in the throes of sexual ecstasy, what does one say? That's right. "Oh God. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh God! Oh Jesus!" It merely brings the individual a step closer to Heaven, as the Lord smiles upon those who call upon Him in their happiest moments. This is not a case of a priest being seduced by a deviant teenager. This is a case of a priest bringing a deviant teenager closer to God.
Thank you.

Kill the (none / 0) (#28)
by Anonymous Reader on Thu Apr 4th, 2002 at 10:08:47 PM PST
What do ya say we just kill all these sick mother fuckers... yeah child molesters should get the gas. Fuck 'em all, just rid the world of them.


All trademarks and copyrights on this page are owned by their respective companies. Comments are owned by the Poster. The Rest ® 2001, 2002, 2003 The name, logo, symbol, and taglines "News for Grown-Ups", "Most Controversial Site on the Internet", "Linux Zealot", and "He just loves Open Source Software", and the RGB color value: D7D7D7 are trademarks of No part of this site may be republished or reproduced in whatever form without prior written permission by and, if and when applicable, prior written permission by the contributing author(s), artist(s), or user(s). Any inquiries are directed to